Homepage List My Second Piece of Translation Exercise (passage from "David Copperfield")

26. My Second Piece of Translation Exercise (passage from "David Copperfield")

The original sentence (taken from "David Copperfield" (《大衛•考勃菲爾》另譯《大衛•科波菲爾》舊譯《塊肉餘生記》) by Charles Dickens):

There is something strange to me, even now, in the reflection that he never saw me, and something stranger yet in the shadowy remembrance that I have of my first childish associations with his white grave-stone in the churchyard, and of the indefinable compassion I used to feel for it lying out alone there in the dark night, when our little parlour was warm and bright with fire and candle, and the doors of our house were─almost cruelly, it seemed to me sometimes─bolted and locked against it.


My Chinese translation:

想到他從來沒有見過我,這一點直到現在,對我來說還是感到奇怪的;但還有比這更令我感到奇怪的是:在我像是被陰影籠罩著的記憶中,當童年時第一次對教堂墓地裡他那白色的墓碑有意識的時候,我充滿無法名狀的感情感受黑夜中孤獨躺在屋子外面的墓碑,當我們的狹小廳子被柴火和燭光照得光亮和溫暖的時候,而我們屋子所有的門──有時感到簡直是殘忍──都用閂栓上和用鎖鎖起來,把墓碑完全隔絕在屋子外面。


Translation of the same sentence copied from a book for comparison:

想到他從來沒有見過我的面,我總覺得有些蹊蹺,甚至到如今都如此;還有我最初看到父親墳前白色墓碑,童稚心靈的許多聯想,黑夜裡墓碑孤零零地豎在那裡,而我們小小的起坐間卻生了火,點了蠟燭,上了閂和鎖,把它關在外面,當時我覺得差不多是殘忍,有說不出所以然的不捨得,現在回想起來,迷迷糊糊,更覺得蹊蹺。

(Written on June 18, 2010)