Homepage List My Sixth Piece of Translation Exercise (passage from "David Copperfield")

34. My Sixth Piece of Translation Exercise (passage from "David Copperfield")

The original passage (taken from "David Copperfield" (《大衛•考勃菲爾》另譯《大衛•科波菲爾》舊譯《塊肉餘生記》) by Charles Dickens):

I felt it rather hard, I must own, to be made, without deserving it, the subject of jokes between the coachman and guard as to the coach drawing heavy behind, on account of my sitting there, and as to the greater expediency of my travelling by waggon. The story of my supposed appetite getting wind among the outside passengers, they were merry upon it likewise, and asked me whether I was going to be paid for, at school, as two brothers or three, and whether I was contracted for, or went upon the regular terms, with other pleasant questions. But the worst of it was that I knew I should be ashamed to eat anything, when an opportunity offered, and that, after a rather light dinner, I should remain hungry all night─for I had left my cakes behind, at the hotel, in my hurry. My apprehensions were realized. When we stopped for supper I couldn't muster courage to take any, though I should have liked it very much, but sat by the fire and said I didn't want anything. This did not save me from more jokes either, for a husky-voiced gentleman with a rough face, who had been eating out of a sandwich-box nearly all the way, except when he had been drinking out of a bottle, said I was like a boa constrictor, who took enough at one meal to last him a long time, after which he actually brought a rash out upon himself with boiled beef.


My Chinese translation:

我是不該成為馬車伕和守衛的取笑對象的,他們取笑我說因為是載著我而致馬車嚴重墮後了,又取笑我應該選擇乘坐載貨馬車才對。我得承認他們的取笑令我感到頗為難受。對於有關我好胃口的傳說,已經傳開去連外面的搭客都知道了。馬車伕和守衛同樣拿這個來取笑我,他們問我實情是不是以兩個或三個兄弟的價錢繳付學校費用的,又問我究竟是不是和學校簽了特別協定,還是按照一般程序辦理入學......和其他一些可笑的問題。最可怕的還是,他們令我覺得當有機會吃東西的時候,我應該感到羞恥於吃任何東西;認為晚飯吃過些微東西後,我應要整夜餓著肚子(真不該匆忙間把餅食遺留在旅館裡)。我這個擔心果然成了事實:當停下來吃晚飯時,我沒有勇氣拿東西吃,雖然那時候我實在想吃得要死,只是坐在柴火旁邊說我不想吃東西。雖然如此,他們仍是不斷取笑我。有個幾乎在整個行程中除了拿起瓶子喝水的時間外都在吃盛載三文治盒裡的東西的、嗓音低沉、面部皮膚粗糙的人,說我像大蟒蛇、一次過吃足夠多東西便能夠維持好長一段時間一樣。後來他吃了水煮牛肉後,面上真的出了一粒粒的疹子來。


Translation of the same passage copied from a book for comparison:

我得承認,我無端成為馬車夫和管車人的笑柄,說因為我坐在車後邊,後邊就重了,最好坐四輪運貨馬車旅行,因此心裡也相當難受。別人認定我胃口好的傳說不脛而走,車頂車後的乘客都知道了,他們也拿來取笑,問我進學校交膳費是照兩弟兄、還是三弟兄,是不是有人承包,還是照一般的辦法,又想出其他開玩笑的問題。不過最糟糕的是,我知道有機會吃東西的時候,我不管吃什麼都覺得丟臉,還有,吃過一頓相當少的晚飯以後,我就該整夜熬餓了。因為匆忙中,我又把糕餅丟在旅館裡了。我害怕的事果然碰到了,等到我們停車吃晚飯的時候,我雖然很想吃,卻鼓不起勇氣去吃,只是坐在爐子旁邊,說我什麼也不想吃。這樣一來,也並沒有免掉我再受別人嘲笑。因為有個嗄喉嚨、面皮粗糙的先生,一路上除了瓶子裡倒東西出來喝之外,差不多都從夾心麵包盒子裡拿東西出來吃,說我像條蟒蛇,一頓吃足,可以維持很久不餓。他說完這話,就吃了燒牛肉,吃得都發出風疹來了。

(Written on April 8, 2011)