Homepage List My Eleventh Piece of Translation Exercise (passage from "David Copperfield")

40. My Eleventh Piece of Translation Exercise (passage from "David Copperfield")

The original passage (taken from "David Copperfield" (《大衛•考勃菲爾》另譯《大衛•科波菲爾》舊譯《塊肉餘生記》) by Charles Dickens):

There was a second lady in the dining-room, of a slight short figure, dark, and not agreeable to look at, but with some appearance of good looks too, who attracted my attention, perhaps because I had not expected to see her, perhaps because I found myself sitting opposite to her, perhaps because of something really remarkable in her. She had black hair and eager black eyes, and was thin, and had a scar upon her lip. It was an old scar─I should rather call it, seam, for it was not discoloured, and had healed years ago─which had once cut through her mouth, downward towards the chin, but was now barely visible across the table, except above and on her upper lip, the shape of which it had altered. I concluded in my own mind that she was about thirty years of age, and that she wished to be married. She was a little dilapidated─like a house─with having been so long to let, yet had, as I have said, an appearance of good looks. Her thinness seemed to be the effect of some wasting fire within her, which found a vent in her gaunt eyes.

My Chinese translation:


Translation of the same passage copied from a book for comparison:


(Written on May 3, 2011)