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57. My Sixteenth Piece of Translation Exercise (passage from "Jane Eyre")

The original passage (taken from "Jane Eyre" (《簡愛》) by Charlotte Bronte):

I lingered at the gates; I lingered on the lawn; I paced backwards and forwards on the pavement: the shutters of the glass door were closed; I could not see into the interior; and both my eyes and spirit seemed drawn from the gloomy house - from the gray hollow filled with rayless cells, as it appeared to me - to that sky expanded before me - a blue sea absolved from taint of cloud; the moon ascending it in solemn march; her orb seeming to look up as she left the hill-tops, from behind which she had come, far and farther below her, and aspired to the zenith, midnight dark in its fathomless depth and measureless distance: and for those trembling stars that followed her course; they made my heart tremble, my veins glow when I viewed them. Little things recall us to earth: the clock struck in the hall; that sufficed. I turned from moon and stars, opened a side-door, and went in.

My Chinese translation:


Translation of the same passage copied from a book for comparison:


(Written on February 15, 2015)