My Twenty-second Piece of Translation Exercise (passage from "Pride and Prejudice")Homepage List

68. My Twenty-second Piece of Translation Exercise (passage from "Pride and Prejudice")

The original passage (taken from "Pride and Prejudice" (《傲慢與偏見》) by Jane Austen):

At length the Parsonage was discernible. The garden sloping to the road, the house standing in it, the green pales and the laurel hedge, every thing declared they were arriving. Mr. collins and Charlotte appeared at the door, and the carriage stopped at the small gate, which led by a short gravel walk to the house, amidst the nods and smiles of the whole party. In a moment they were all out of the chaise, rejoicing at the sight of each other. Mrs. Collins welcomed her friend with the liveliest pleasure, and Elizabeth was more and more satisfied with coming, when she found herself so affectionately received. She saw instantly that her cousin's manners were not altered by his marriage; his formal civility was just what it had been, and he detained her some minutes at the gate to hear and satisfy his enquiries after all her family. They were then, with no other delay than his pointing out the neatness of the entrance, taken into the house; and as soon as they were in the parlour, he welcomed them a second time with ostentatious formality to his humble abode, and punctually repeated all his wife's offers of refreshment.


My Chinese translation:

終於看到教區牧師的住所了。向馬路傾斜的花園、矗立其中的房舍、綠柱及月桂樹籬笆,這一切都告訴他們抵達了。車上各人點頭、微笑,看到柯林斯先生和夏綠蒂已站在房舍門前。車輛停於小閘門前,一小段碎石路連接閘門和房舍。他們頃刻下了馬車,對見面都雀躍不已。柯林斯太太最活潑歡欣地迎接她的好友,伊麗莎白得到這樣親切的迎接而愈發滿意自己能夠來到這裡。她即時發覺她的表兄的舉止沒有因為結了婚而有絲毫改變:他還是老樣子客套多禮。他留住她在閘門幾分鐘,非要向她探聽她家中各人近況至滿意方休。然後不願再逗留片刻,他指指整齊的房舍入口方向便立刻引領各人走進屋內。當大家齊集在客廳,他再次以誇張炫耀的客套話歡迎各人到訪他的寒舍;每次當妻子遞給各人小食時,他都要緊接著重覆遞一次。


Translation of the same passage copied from a book for comparison:

那幢讓人覺得可笑的牧師住宅終於出現在眼前。大路斜對面的花園、花園裡的,以及桂樹圍籬──每一樣東西好像都在宣佈他們的到來。柯林斯先生和夏綠蒂走到門口歡迎,在賓主的點頭微笑中,客人把車停在一道小門前,從這裡穿過一條短短的鵝卵石鋪道,便能直達正屋。接下來他們下了車,賓主相見,無限歡樂。柯林斯簡直是手舞足蹈地歡迎自己的朋友的到來,伊麗莎白受到這麼親切的歡迎,對這次的作客就益發滿意了。她立刻看出他表兄並沒有因為結了婚而改變態度,還是完全和以往一樣地拘泥禮節,在門口耽擱了好幾分鐘,問候她全家大小的起居安好。聽到她一一回答了之後,他才滿意。之後才把客人們帶進屋子裡,等到客人一走進客廳,他又再次歡迎她的到來,非常客氣地說,這次承蒙光臨寒舍,真是榮幸之至,並且重新奉上了一次他太太送上來的點心。

(Written on December 31, 2018)