My Twenty-sixth Piece of Translation Exercise (passage from "Pride and Prejudice")Homepage List

72. My Twenty-sixth Piece of Translation Exercise (passage from "Pride and Prejudice")


The original passage (taken from "Pride and Prejudice" (《傲慢與偏見》) by Jane Austen):

As for Elizabeth her thoughts were at Pemberley this evening more than the last, and the evening, though as it passed it seemed long, was not long enough to determine her feelings towards one in that mansion; and she lay awake two whole hours, endeavouring to make them out. She certainly did not hate him. No; hatred had vanished long ago, and she had almost as long been ashamed of ever feeling a dislike against him, that could be so called. The respect created by the conviction of his valuable qualities, though at first unwillingly admitted, had for some time ceased to be repugnant to her feelings; and it was now heightened into somewhat of a friendlier nature, by the testimony so highly in his favour, and bringing forward his disposition in so amiable a light, which yesterday had produced. But above all, above respect and esteem, there was a motive within her of good will which could not be overlooked. It was gratitude.--Gratitude, not merely for having once loved her, but for loving her still well enough, to forgive all the petulance and acrimony of her manner in rejecting him, and all the unjust accusations accompanying her rejection. He who, she had been persuaded, would avoid her as his greast enemy, seemed, on this accidental meeting, most eager to preserve the acquaintance, and without any indelicate diplay of regard, or any peculiarity of manner, where their two selves only were concerned, was soliciting the good opinion of her friends, and bent on making her known to his sister. Such a change in a man of so much pride, excited not only astonishment but gratitude--for to love, ardent love, it must be attributed; and as such its impression on her was of a sort to be encouraged, as by no means unpleasing, though it could not be exactly defined. She respected, she esteemed, she was grateful to him, she felt a real interest in his welfare; and she only wanted to know how far she wished that welfare to depend upon herself, and how far it would be for the happiness of both that she should employ the power, which her fancy told her she still possessed, of bringing on the renewal of his addresses.


My Chinese translation:

伊麗莎白這晚比上一晚更多將思緒放在潘伯利上,雖然這晚時間好像過得慢且長,但不夠長去決定她對這所宅第中「某一個人」的感覺。她清醒躺著兩個小時,努力去弄清楚這個感覺。她肯定不憎恨他。不!憎恨很久前已消失了,而她幾乎於同一時段對曾有討厭他的感覺覺得羞愧,可以這樣說吧。對他良好特質的信念而起的敬意──雖然初時不願意承認──已有一段時間不再有厭惡的感覺,現在由於昨天見證了他的優秀特質及他顯現的如此可愛的性情,可謂上升到一個感覺更為友好的本質。然而更加重要的是,在尊敬和重視之上,不能忽視她內心的一個良好動機:是感激──不只感激曾愛她,而仍好好地在愛她;原諒了她拒絕他時的任性和尖刻,以及拒絕他時提出的不公平控訴。她曾被勸告他會視她為最大的敵人般避開她,今次突然相遇他反而最熱切地維持互相認識,又為了獲取她的朋友對他的良好印象和堅持她認識他妹妹,他沒有流露半點不得體的關懷,或做出對他們兩人而言的任何古怪行徑。發生在這樣傲慢的一個男人身上的這種巨大變化,不只刺激起驚訝,還有感激──這必定歸因於愛,熱烈的愛!因此,對於她這不會是不快而是個值得鼓勵的印象,雖然無法清楚界定這是個甚麼印象。她尊敬他,重視他;她感激他,對忚的福利感到真正的興趣;而她只需知道她想那福利有多大程度倚靠她,以及為了兩人的幸福她應多大程度運用她的能量──她的想像力告訴她仍擁有──去重現他對她的求婚。


Translation of the same passage copied from a book for comparison:

至於伊麗莎白,今晚想彭伯里想得比昨晚還多;雖然這一晚彷佛天長地久,漫漫的長夜卻還熬不到弄情楚自己對大宅裡「那個人」的心事;在床上整整醒著兩個小時,竭力理出頭緒來。她當然不恨他。是的,恨意早已煙消雲散;可以那麼說,她也幾乎早已為討厭過他而羞愧。她對達西的美德,從當初不願承認到轉而信服,由此對達西所生的敬意,心裡也早已不感厭惡了;又因為昨天的所見所聞十分討喜,可見他的性情是那麼和藹可親,現在敬重還有點進步為友誼了。然而最重要的,在敬重、景仰之上,不能忽視的,她心裡還有一個由於好感的動機。那就是感激。──感激的,不只因為曾經愛她,更因為依然愛她,愛得原諒她拒絕時種種蠻橫、惡毒的德行、種種連帶的無稽指責。達西沒有如她以為的那樣,回避自己這個不共戴天的仇敵,反而在這一回的邂逅,似乎心心念念要維繫這段友誼;就他倆而言,沒有露骨的情意,沒有旁若無人地獨獻殷勤,既博得親人的好感,又一心要介紹妹妹給她認識。那麼傲慢的人脫胎換骨,不只叫人驚訝,更叫人感激──因為這靠的必然是愛、熱烈的愛;這樣的愛雖然捉摸不定,卻並非不愜意,這種愛的感受是她求之不得的。她敬重、她景仰、她感激達西,她衷心關懷他的幸福;她只想知道,自己有多希望他的幸福在於自己,而雙方的幸福又有多少在於她運用設想中仍然擁有的魅力,來鼓勵達西重新追求。(譯:慈恩/出版:釀出版)

(Written on July 5, 2019)